Sacramento, Ca

As some of you may know, I dream of traveling. I’m still trying to make that happen financially but I know I’ll figure it out soon. In the meantime, I just visit my most frequent past travel destinations. One of them happens to be Sacramento, Ca. I love the atmosphere there. I love the food. I love the nightlife. I love it all! One day I hope to live there; especially when we decide to expand our family. Here are a few photos of my trip there a few weeks ago. Enjoy!

Food for my thought

Don’t you just admire people who aren’t afraid to be their authentic selves. I enjoy being in the presence of a person who becomes “alive” in their element. I secretly envy people who are doing things I can’t seem to sum up the courage to do.

There are people living out my dreams, all because I’m too afraid or too shy to attempt. I have interests that not even my close family and friends know about. But I’ve been so used to putting myself inside a box for so many years that I’m afraid to share other parts of myself. I’m scared they might think I’m trying to be someone else or like someone else. When in reality I’m not. We all have layers to our personalities. No, I’m not just a shy woman who only follow rules. No, I don’t just enjoy visiting museums or bookstores. No, I don’t just like the outdoors and hiking. There’s so many layers to my personality that sometimes I even surprise myself.

Since turning 26 I have been scratching my head as to why am I like this? Why have I stopped myself from living out my dreams? Why have I allowed myself to become the spectator and not the participant? I want to do things like dance, travel, design, teach; I want to do things that speak to my creative mind. Yet, I’m here. I’m here typing this post. Once again, only dreaming of dancing a superbly awesome choreographed piece to one of my favorite songs. Once again, I am just sitting here only THINKING about recording my workouts in hopes to motivate someone to get fit. And again, I’m just sitting here THINKING about it….

Now that I’m a mother, I don’t want my children to ever be afraid to be their authentic selves. We all have so many layers to us. We don’t have to be boxed in our interests based on stereotypes. I want my children to go after their dreams. I want them to not be afraid to try even if that means falling on their face several hundred times. I want them to have lived their lives feeling like they’ve done everything they’ve ever wanted to do or see or eat. I want that for them.

I feel like it may be too late for me but I’m choosing to learn from my “what if’s”. I am choosing to encourage the youth. Because honestly, being an adult regretting the things you didn’t do because of fear of whatever it may be, isn’t fun. I’ve never felt more lame for NOT doing something than the feeling of embarrassment from actually doing it and failing and having to get back up.

So here’s a few things I enjoy that I never shared…

I want to dance. Like actually dance a choreographed piece. I want to record it and post it for the world to see.

I want to record fitness videos.

I want to share my blog so more people can read.

I want to write and publish my own book.

I’m sure there’s more but I’m just so excited about this post that I can’t think of them.

To Him I Pray

Dear Lord Jesus,

I am at a stage of my life where I feel stagnant. I’m unsure where to go. I long for a better professional life but struggle with finding my path to accomplish this. I struggle with finding out how to tie my passion in with financial stability. I just want to be able to create and from my creations support my family. It tears me up inside because I have slowly started feeling this way and I don’t know where to start. I dream of becoming a creator like I see via the internet yet I don’t know where to start and lack the confidence. I pray that you help me find my way soon. I want Emilia to be proud of me and I want to be able to give Emilia a life of joy excitement and stability. I want to show Emilia that she should follow her dreams and work hard. 
In Jesus’ name,

Amen